Confused...!!!!

December 30th back to work as usual sitting on my chair and just dazing off thinking over a few things.. Am just wondering what mistake did i do now that you have to start avoiding me and not wanting to spend the new year with me.. what did i exactly do my little one was it my fault that my company delayed my pay towards the following week. I didnt do it on purpose and you know how i felt when they told me that. I just sat on my chair and thinking why must all this happen. Do you know how much i wanted to make u smile and blush for the new yr but its going down the drain. All i could do now is just sit on my chair with pain in my heart and just let my tears shed for all this shit. Do i deserve all this god... I just wanted to keep my little one happy every single min or seconds.

Can you answer me god why did u bring an angel into my life but not allowing me to shower my love for her. All i asked for is someone to love me and for me to shower the love back to the person, you gave me the person but you didnt give me anything else to shower that person back with love.

Is money really that important in life that without money no one is willing to be near u.. All i am asking now god is for some miracle to happen to make my little angel smile.... please guide me through this i am totally lost.....

Working Things Out

December 29th a boring day as usual at work. Nothing to do and my damn company spyed on my breakage to their internet and blocked my port entry to those sites i cracked open. What to do back to the usual drawing board and figuring out how to crack it permantly without any spys winkz.. Called my little sweet heart and shes fast asleep just missed the way she sounded just like a small baby when she picked up and answered my call haiz..

Awaiting lunch time then back to reading my soccer news online due to the lack of sites open.

Awaiting when only the clock will strike 6pm so i can rush out and pick my little baby up at her work place.

Every one of my collegues lazing and slacking around awaiting just like me when to knock off haha... cool job isnt it just to slack and i get paid......

What Should i Do to prove to you?

Beinging December things went smoothly decipe some major problems from my family.

December 16th started my new work in a new environment. Was happy i got the job as an IT engineer in a goverment firm. I was even more happy that i can provide things even the world to the girl i love most that no other guys can afford to do so. Worked hard and christmas approached.

December 25th Christmas Day was a joyous moment for me as i spend time with her.. we had dinner and went clubbing. I am really thankful to her for being there with me and making happy during christmas even though i dont have a single cent with me... It was my happiest christmas ever in my life...

December 26th things start to turn sour due to my damn family. They started to create problems between us and they kept on yelling and yacking at me not to be with her. Why cant anyone understand how much she means to me. I fought back and stand firm with those mouths who are not happy of us being together.

Decemeber 27th from sour it got worst cause of my damn family and my mistake. I know that you dont love me but i am changing and i am willing to fight till the very end to just see you part of me. I am very sorry for not listening to you or teased you when you have a problem. I hope you will forgive me my little angel and not let this god created relationship to end just like that. I will really keep to my word and take care of you well just like a little baby. Hurt after Hurt seeing you cry it was my fault i hope i can just turn the time and save every tears of yours in my heart...

It hurts not just me but my heart badly to see you shed a tear. What do u exactly want that you are hating me so much. I know am not the perfect guy for you but am giving my best shot. I dont know why that you have to hurt me by telling me i have treated you like a dog and come to you for just s**. I dont mean any harm neither did i treat you like a dog i just want to treat you as a baby. Every smile and every blush you give me places a tick in my heart. Am sorry for failing and making you shed a tear. I hope we can work things out and not listen or bother what problems others try to create for us. I really want to be the best guy you ever had and just give you happiness....

New Life Ahead....

Aug 22nd I met a wonderful angel in my life and proposed to her to be part of my life with a wonderful ring infront of tons of people at orchard road. I didnt care of the embrassment or the eyes of others cause she meant the world to me . Told her that she will not only just be my gf but more then that. I just want to be a father,adviser,friend,boyfriend and a hubby to her. Had a great month ahead with her especially every smile and love from her really stored a place in my heart.

Begining of November things start to turn sour cause of my biggest mistake of lieing to her and hiding a big thing from her. Was told to leave her place and that she didnt want to see my face ever again. Thought the world came to an end for me as without her there isnt me. Cried myself till the last drop just thinking when will she ever come back.

Dawn approached and she smsed me telling me she had no choice but she had to do it cause of her family but she told me that she wants me and loves me alot.

Nov 14th told her i will change by not lieing to her or hiding things from her anymore and prove everyone wrong about me. I proved to her step by step holding her hands and showing her how much she means to me in my life.Things got better untill... my damn family had to create a huge problem for us especially for her...